Happy Anniversary!
by Janson48180
Summary: The wierdest entry for the JJ summer challenge over at the the force dot net.


Title: Happy Anniversary!  
Author: Janson48180  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: G  
Time Frame: Post NJO  
Characters: Jag/Jaina, Yoda, and Jag's clone  
Summary: The weirdest entry for the JJ summer challenge. 

'4 years. 4 wonderful years.' Jagged Fel thought to himself as he walked over to his bran new speeder that he just so happened to have rented out. Today was the 4 year anniversary for him and his wonderful wife Jaina. There was nothing he loved more than Jaina's company.

This year was going to be special though. This year they weren't going to be fighting out in space. They weren't going to be having dinner with Jaina's parents again, listening to her mom and dad argue and talk about politics while Han managed to sit there and give him the same "keep your hands off my daughter" look that he always had around him.

This year he took Jaina to Naboo and that night he was taking her to a small restaurant in the Lake Country. As he was on his way over to the restaurant to make the reservation he spotted a small family of 3 out on the lake in a little boat. There was the husband the wife and the kid. Jag hated kids!

"Maybe a family with kids wouldn't be that bad." he thought to himself.

"I mean Jaina's always talked about wanting kids."

"As long as shes happy then I'm happy too."

His eyes stayed fixed on the family that was on the lake. "What's the worse that could happen?" he said as he turned his had and kept on going at the same time that the small boy grabbed one of the oars and whacked his father in the head. The tall man then fell out of the boat taking his wife with him.

Jag didn't know it but children were the last thing that he needed. They would destroy him. Or at least this is what our old dead green friend Yoda thought about him. Yoda had been watching Jag ever since he married Jaina and he hated the boy. His plan was to clone Jag and make the clone divorce Jaina at the dinner. Then as far as he was concerned she would be free.

Sadly there was a minor detail that neither Jag or Yoda knew. Jaina had a plan of her own. That night she was planning to tell Jag that she was pregnant with his child.  
3 Hours Later

Yoda's plan seemed to be working out perfectly. Jags clone had been made just in time.

"Go to dinner with Jaina tonight you will."

"Who's Jaina?" asked the rather confused clone.

"Your wife she is. Divorce her you will."

Yes things were great for him. Knowing that he had a Jaina hating clone of Jag and the real Jag was tied up in dead Yoda's lair. Or at least he thought that things were great, they really weren't. ( Don't ask how he got Jag. This is Yoda were talking about and he has his ways.)

Time For Dinner

Now, this clone was really just as nice as the original Jag so he didn't want to let her down too hard.

"What do all girls like?" he thought. All he could come up with was chocolate. So he had a chocolate cake prepared at the restaurant in advance that had "I want a divorce" nicely printed on the top. Well, maybe not nicely.

Jaina also had a cake prepared in advance. She knew that Jag loved blue Jello cake so she had one made that said "I'm pregnant" written on the top of the cake. And her and Jag2 ( Jags clone.) were on their way.

Meanwhile

Yoda left his lair to go and watch how the dinner was going and so it was the perfect chance for Jag to escape. His ropes were made out of lickerish so he had to eat his way out of them. The chamber he was locked in was made out of dirt, so he just had to dig his way out.

He finally got out and all was well until he tripped over Yodas biggest pot and broke his leg. So he then limped his way over to the hospital.

"I broke my leg!" he yelled as soon as he got there. His doctor quikly ran over and set his leg.

"I know need 300 million credits and you birth certificates." Said the doctor.

Realizing that he had none of the above Jag responded by saying,

"OH SNAP!" and then running away. For a guy with a broken leg he sure could run really fast and he was running strait for Jaina.

Back At The Restaurant

"Time for dessert!" Exclaimed the waiter.

All Jaina had time to say was,"Oh good! I had a surprise fo-" and the cakes were sat down.

And there it was in nice big bold letters, "I want a divorce."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"

BOOM! ( the door breaks down!)

"STOP!"Jag yelled as he came crashing through the door.

"WHO ARE YOU?" yelled Jaina.

"Its me! Jag."

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT JAG'S RIGHT THERE!"

"No, I'm Jag, he's a clone."

"Clone- what! WHATS!- who's- whats- whats going on? Which one of you is Jag?"

"JAG STOP!" said the doctor and the entire medical staff as they too barged in through the broken down door

The entire restaurant was now looking over at them anxious to know how it would all come down.

"Jaina I need-"

"Don't call me Jaina, I don't even know you!"

"But its me, Jag!"

"How do I know its you?"

"I need that 300 million credits that you carry around with you every day."

"You are Jag! I am so happy! This means that were not getting a divorce! But wait, who's that then?"

"My clone." said Jag.

Jags clone then stepped in,"Let me explain. Yoda hated Jag with you so he stole him and made me. I came here because my job was to pretend to be Jag and divorce you. I am a clone."

"Excuse me, can I please have my money and those birth certificates now?" said the doctor.

"Oh, yes of course." said Jaina. Then the doctor and the medical staff got what they needed and left.

"WHAT HAPPENED!" The manager of the restaurant entered the room rather moody.

Jaina then explained the situation with the help of the real Jag and the clone.

Yoda was caught that night. Him and Jag's clone had a punishment. It was for them to work as janitors at the restaurant for life! Or in Yoda's case for death. Their jobs started with cleaning up the mess that they caused that night.

Jaina and Jag walked into the moonlight by the lake. Its not what either had in mind but it was just then when Jaina said,

"Jag, I'm pregnant."

He smiled, almost managed to get out an "I love you" but fainted right after saying  
"I-

That's it! Was it that confuseing?


End file.
